I wonder why I keep on trying to have something with you we'll obviously never have. I don't know how to be myself around you cuz most of the times it seems like I'm being rejected, simply not accepted.
During all the time we've been together I've tried and done my best to adapt to your life, culture and surroundings. It's been bloody hard to feel I've done it all in vain.
You might wonder why, well I know this isn't a competition but I do believe we haven't been that even.
I'm running out of words, which is so weird in me. I miss the person I used to be but I'm afraid of being romantic, silly & playful around you cuz your reactions aren't what I'd like to see, guess I'm the one to blame cuz I knew things could be that way and still I went for "this". I don't regret the time we've shared but I'm not sure I'm gonna be capable of enduring much more of what you call love as our visions and meanings of that word are so totally different.
Wish we could find a middle ground, a place where I could look at you and be able to match your words with your actions.
I'm sorry if my actions are nothing but reactions to your strange way of showing me you care. I wish I was easier, I wish I'd need less, I wish I didn't care but I do.
