Of bubbles & more...

Feelings & emotions are strange things that accumulate in your mind and heart for a reason. Sometimes the reason disappears but the feelings remain causing pain and then memories. 

When you keep a lot of things in the depths of your heart -memories that belong only to you & to the one you've shared 'em with- it can be so hard to just let 'em go, therefore you let 'em there, you let 'em linger... but then there are those times when you wish so bad to relive certain moments, the chance to turn some memories into dreams... 

Have you ever had a constant dream for months, a dream that was far from pleasant because it started nice and always ended sad? Always same pattern, you and him wanting to talk and then you just couldn't understand what he wanted to say & then things changed and the chance was gone, just as he was. Waking up just to know he's not longer part of your life.

Time passes and all of the sudden you're writing things you never sent, finding yourself doodling his name without even realizing what you were doing; thinking over and over again about the last moment, wondering what you did wrong to send him away. Accumulating questions without answers, simply hating the awfully loud silence...

Time tames an aching heart and you just let everything hanging there, at times you even think you've forgotten all about it, you feel like it just doesn't matter anymore. Guess you try to ignore as you've been ignored. 

Have you ever felt all those feelings reappear by just a simple message? Just few words that probably mean nothing to someone else, but to you they meant he thought of you, that he also saved some memories. Funny how you can't help to feel so happy but so scared of replying because you don't want to spoil the moment, you don't want to say the wrong thing and see him go again. You plan you message thinking of a neutral way of saying you care without caring too much, you delete it and type it again, you press send and your heart becomes a mess, suddenly you are in the hands of uncertainty and all you can do is wait, wait to see if he'll reply or if he just needed to know you were still alive. Time passes so slowly you start to think you've missed the chance, you were too late... and then you get what you've been wanting, his words are back, your smile is back, the feelings are back but in a twist of emotions you just don't know what to say or do, you just shut down and go with the flow, you promise yourself you'll be honest and just say whatever you're thinking. Hoping this isn't a joke, hoping his feelings are as real as yours are.
At the end you realize you're going to do whatever your heart tells you to 'cause what matters is that he's there for you as he once was and you let his words soothe your mind because suddenly your soul feels complete again. 
Somehow he's that to you, the weird link to a missing part of yourself. Your soul feels alive 'cause he brings back things you can only feel whenever he's around, the clear bond of soulmates.